Death and Dying - Why the Fear?

Chapter Extract

'Never the spirit was born; the spirit shall ceases to be never.

Never was time it was not; end and beginning are dreams.

Birthless and deathless and changeless remaineth the spirit forever.

Death has not touched it at all, dead though the house of it seems.'



'Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.'

Marie Curie 1867 - 1934 (Physicist)



   "Despite scientific evidence that life continues beyond the grave, an irrational fear of death, known as necrophobia, is not uncommon. If the knowledge of death and dying was fully understood, perhaps even taught in educational establishments – as it once was in ancient Greece, India, Egypt and Tibet, for example – then the ignorance, fear and paranoia connected with it would virtually cease to exist.

   My father-in-law Harry came into the fear category and, even on his deathbed in March 1984, he was afraid. I only had the pleasure of meeting him twice, so the subject of my research into such matters never arose. It was a great pity, because Harry was a lovely, kind and sensitive man in his mid seventies, and I never learnt of his fear until he entered hospital for the last time. It was there that Patricia held his hand while he was dying and talked to him about what would happen at the moment of death.

   Harry was in an intensive care unit at Orpington in Kent, and had saline and glucose drips in his arm and up his nose. He would drift in and out of consciousness at frequent intervals with each interval getting increasingly longer and deeper. It was during his lucid moments that he would become frightened and grip Patricia’s hand hard. Even during his lapses into coma we spoke words of comfort, and explained that death was nothing to be feared but something to be looked forward to as a great adventure, and that loved ones from other frequencies would come to meet him at the moment of his transition.

   He was, in reality, having a crash course on the ‘facts of death’ as opposed to the ‘facts of life’. We had no idea if he understood what we were saying, but after many hours in coma a truly wonderful sight gladdened our eyes. Unaided, Harry, suddenly sat up and, still attached to the drip, opened his eyes wide and looked straight at the blank wall next to his bed. With the most beautiful smile of surprise and recognition, he reached forward with his free arm in a loving gesture as if greeting an ‘invisible’ person who had come to escort him to his ‘new’ home.

   ‘Someone’s come for him, I can sense them,’ said Patricia – just as I ‘saw’ a very pretty, elegant elderly lady with outstretched welcoming arms, wearing a black silk dress with matching hat. ‘It’s Nan – dad’s mum,’ said Patricia, very excited. Harry slowly closed his eyes, and still smiling, lay gently back onto his pillow. He never regained consciousness – to this world.

   In 1968, my Grandmother on my mother’s side (yes, the one with the rosy cheeks), was staying with my Auntie and Uncle in Berkshire. Gran was sitting in a comfortable chair and appeared to be drifting off to sleep. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and, with a look of surprise, reached forward with both arms in a welcoming gesture. A huge smile beamed across her face as she whispered, ‘Why Ted, you’ve come for me, and you’ve brought Edith and Macky.’ With that, she sank back into the chair and breathed no more. Uncle Tom had just caught her last words. It was a lovely way to go! Ted was her husband (my Grandfather) who passed to the spirit world via a heart attack in 1957. Edith was her daughter who had ‘died’ at the age of twenty from diphtheria, and Macky was her dog that had passed over many years before.

   I have talked to many people who were nearing the end of their life. Most were suffering from terminal illnesses and asked if I would give them healing to alleviate discomfort or pain and reduce their fear of dying. I often knew when their ‘departure’ was near, as they became quite clairvoyant and ‘saw’ people and animals that they had known and had since ‘died’. Many talked of conversations with a deceased mother or father or other close relatives. Their passing usually occurred within a few days of this happening and is perfectly natural. It is merely Nature’s way of telling them that there is no such thing as ‘death’ and that they will not be alone when their time is up.

   Some years ago I spent an evening with friends who told me this rather amusing story. Bob’s frail and elderly mother was living with them at the time, and one evening he saw her nearly jump out of her chair. ‘What’s the matter mum?’ he asked. ‘I’ve just seen an American Indian walk through that wall and stand in front of me staring,’ she exclaimed in a startled voice. ‘Did he say anything to you?’ asked Bob, trying to humour her. ‘No, he just smiled and beckoned me to follow him,’ she replied. ‘And then would you believe it,’ she said, pointing, ‘he walked straight through that wall over there.’ Within two days she ‘died’.


   Now this prompts the question, why would an elderly lady who knew nothing about the afterlife or American Indian guides, see one walk through a wall two days before she died? Sceptics might argue that she was hallucinating or that it was the brain's way of gently easing her into oblivion.  But what is hallucinating? Seeing something that isn't really there? Who says it isn't? And what is reality? I have 'seen' thousands of invisible people and animals  over the years and most of them have been recognised from their descriptions - and they were certainly real to me.


   When a change of consciousness occurs, such as sleep, meditation or daydreaming, we can pick up frequencies that are not sensed by our five physical senses. When'death' is near it can ......."